GOOD GIRL SYNDROME
You know that feeling when you don’t want to do something, but you do it anyway so as not to “rock the boat” or upset someone? You know - the feeling when you bite your tongue because speaking up for yourself would come off hella bitchy?
If you answered yes to one or both of those questions, you probably suffer from “Good Girl Syndrome”.
Good Girl Syndrome noun /ɡo͝od/ɡərl/ˈsinˌdrōm/ See also: nice girl, yes girl, people pleaser
Good Girl Syndrome (GGS) is a set of symptoms that some women experience due to social and cultural conditioning, gender typing, and antiquated generational patterns.
Causes:
Being told your whole life not to “rock the boat” and to “be a good girl”.
Symptoms:
Extreme politeness, even when someone deserves to be slapped
Smiling at strangers so as not to appear bitchy
When asked how you are, always responding with “Great! You?”
Never telling someone “no” when they ask for a favor, regardless of how inconvenient it is to you.
Feeling the need to take on extra unnecessary responsibilities to prove your worth
Underselling of yourself
Avoiding sharing opinions
Apologizing often
Avoiding conflict
Praise seeking
Side effects may include:
Resentment
Guilt
Outbursts of anger
Unexplainable desire to cry
Withdrawal from society
Fuge state
Drastic haircuts
Rebelling without a cause
Dating bad boys
Girls Gone Wild
Tramp stamp tattoos
This “Good Girl Syndrome” has probably even spilled over into your adult life and career. Maybe you got the degree you were expected to (but didn’t really want). Then came the job that would buy you all the things society tells you that you need; house, car, mani/pedi, etc. I mean, you are expected to attract a life mate, get married, and have children all before you got too old and your “ovaries dry up”, right? Oh and let’s not forget how everyone and their grandmother has an opinion about your life. (Nobody asked you Mrs. Morris from down the street.) Like wtf!!! And then, it happens. You get to a certain age where you’ve accomplished a bunch of awesome stuff, because, well, you’re really good at doing what’s expected of you. You should be happy but you can’t get rid of this nagging feeling that there’s something more out there for you. Let me know if this thought process sounds familiar to you:
“Gosh, I would love to be doing something else with my life...but I can’t possibly leave my job because well. College debt. Car loan. Rent. Keeping up with the Kardashians aaaand, I did go to school for this particular career so if I leave my job all that time and money I spent earning my degree would end up being a total fucking waste. I’m such an idiot. I knew I wanted to drop out of college my second year. But what would I have even done? I guess I can only blame myself for where I am.”
Well, I don’t blame you, you were only doing what you were taught to do your whole life. Be a “Good Girl” and follow through on your commitments. I know firsthand how that goes. Trust me I used to be you. Let me introduce myself:
Hi, I’m Magali, and I’m a recovering “Good Girl.”
I played the “good girl” role my entire life. As a kid, we moved around a lot, so early on I decided that I would learn to adapt and I was good at it. I went with the flow until the current took me under. By the time I was in college something started to feel off. I didn’t like going along with the mainstream, it just didn’t suit me. Nonetheless, like a good girl, I got the degree and got a good job.
I taught high school psychology for 7 years (passionate about the content, loved my students, hated the structure). In that time, I bought a townhouse, had a nice car, health insurance, paid my taxes, and could afford presents for the holidays (you know, all of the things society dictates). I had my shit together-- or so it seemed. There was truly nothing wrong with my life! I had done everything I was supposed to! But I didn’t feel fulfilled and this made me feel guilty. I smiled and participated in life on the outside. On the inside, I was struggling with depression and anxiety. I just wanted to feel
fulfilled.
You see, mainstream life doesn’t fit me. I feel too rebellious against it. I used to butt-heads with the principal at the school I taught at because she felt I was “too outspoken.” (not a Good Girl approved character trait.) I hated not having control over the school I was placed at. I despised south Florida traffic, felt like my life was on the line twice a day - every day! I hated having to dress a certain way to fit the “teacher” role. (boring.) Frankly, I was living for the weekends! But they were never long enough.
By 2012 I had my depression to thank for lighting a fire under my ass to make drastic changes in my life. Luckily for me, I had the insight to listen to a good friend who recommended a personal development weekend course that shifted my life. I started making changes. I had some “aha!” moments and realized (truly deeply understood) that I’m the one in charge of my life and by golly, I’m gonna be happy! By 2014 I designed what my new life would look like, left the classroom, and embarked on my Wanderful Journey across the United States. I broke free from the hamster wheel and have never looked back!
Today I’m dedicated to helping you liberate yourself from the grind! Why? Because mainstream rat racing just doesn’t make sense to me and I refuse to believe that I’m the only one who thinks this way. It all starts with recognizing your own GGS symptoms and I can help you with that!
If you’re curious about the details on how I changed my lifestyle and where I found the courage to take a chance on myself, hit me up and let’s chat!
“Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” - Robin S. Sharma
"Courage is contagious. Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver." - Brene Brown
“We’ve all been conditioned by our fears to stay inside the lines”- Daniel Stempien